Stop Meandering and Start Experiencing the Wonder
Wonder:
(noun) a feeling of surprise and admiration brought on by experiencing something beautiful or unexpected
(verb) to desire or to be curious to know something; to feel doubt
If you are anything like me, your life isn’t exactly what you dreamed it would be when you graduated high school or set out for college. Why is that? Quite simply, life happens. Sometimes we make conscious decisions that shape the path life takes. Sometimes that shit is out of our control. Sometimes we are the directors of our destinies, and other times it seems we are just meandering about letting life happen to us. If I’m being honest, I’ve spent a lot of my life just meandering, justifying my lack of action with excuses about having five kids and a husband who travels for work. The truth, however, is that I’ve been meandering because I’m fearful and because it’s easier than taking real action. Anyone else in the same boat?
Personally, I’m sick of all the meandering. I’m tired of starting my day and feeling like I have no real direction. I’m done dreaming up plans and ideas that others tell me are great but then not having the fortitude to do something about them. As my dear friend Patti says, “This is not a dress rehearsal. This is your life. This is your one and only shot.”
She’s so right. This is my one shot, my one shot to find purpose and passion in this new stage of life. I’m not fresh out of college, ready to take on the world. I’m not newly married and hoping to start a family. The Mommy-and-Me crowd are not ready for, nor are they interested in the challenges I face raising teenagers. And the job market, which I haven’t been active in for quite some time, isn’t interested in what I bring to the table, or quite frankly, I’m not interested in what is being offered to me. So I find myself wondering where I fit in and what I want to do now. I’m a woman in her forties who still has a passion for life, a desire to make a difference, and the time to do it.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want this next chapter in my life to look like. I’ve read books, listened to podcasts, followed a ton of Instagram influencers, and what I’ve learned is that all I want is to have the courage to live my life authentically and to truly experience life instead of just letting it happen. Anybody with me? Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way. Please tell me that you too get frustrated with the way things are but sometimes feel incapable of changing it. Please tell me that you too want something more out of your day than Netflix binge watching. (Not to knock Netflix binge watching. I’ve done more than my fair share.) The point is, that there is so much to see, to experience, and to do in this world, so why am I not doing it? Why am I not taking the reins of my own life and making shit happen? Well, I want to take the reins, damn it. And that is why The Wonder Fill came to be.
As a verb, wonder means to be curious to know something, but it also means to feel doubt. Though those two meanings seem to be contradictory, they each perfectly represent the place I find myself - a place I’m sure you have been to before. If you are anything like me, you have a desire to learn new things and to experience new things, but you often doubt yourself and your ability to get what or where you want. It is that doubt that has prevented me from pursuing my passion time and time again.
Through The Wonder Fill, I want to recognize the doubt, because only in facing our doubts can we hope to overcome them. We cannot allow doubt or fear to inhibit us from perpetually seeking passion, purpose, and peace. With this in mind, join me as I set out on a journey of wonder – a journey where each day we choose to be present, mindful of and accepting of where we are and intentional in our actions so that we may grow into the best versions of ourselves. Along the way I hope to share the stories of those who have inspired and challenged me, to share the places and moments that give me pause or give me peace, and to truly experience each moment, however exciting or mundane. In the process, I sincerely hope that you are inspired to see and to embrace the wonder in your own life. I don’t know exactly where this path leads. My only hope is that along the way every day is filled with wonder.